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đCan anyone relate to any of these? #friendship #bff #bestfriends #breakup #argument #psychologist
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đ The last part is crucialđĽ Hereâs something you might not expect: whether or not you meet diagnostic criteria isnât the most important part. You donât need a diagnosis to reflect on your wellbeing and notice it might benefit from some attention. Whatever a doctor says you haveâor donât haveâyou can take charge and start making positive changes. You donât have to be at the mercy of anxiety forever. Thereâs a whole toolkit available to help you reclaim your life. Therapy is wonderful, but itâs not accessible to everyoneâand if youâre reading this, you already have access to a world of knowledge online. If you would prefer a more personal guide from a professional, the Anxiety Action Plan in the new edition of my first book, *Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before?*, offers a clear, evidence-based guide to tackling anxiety step-by-step. My latest book, *Open When*, brings the words you need when fear takes over and you donât know where to turnâone to keep in your bag for tough moments. Links are in my bio. Follow me for more videos on this subject. Feel free to share @drjulie â¤ď¸
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¡1w ago đ Do you ever feel like the only grown up in an adult relationship? Comment below. Hereâs a few signs that you are dealing with someone who is emotional immature: 1. The relationship is like walking on eggshells, you have to second-guess your every move to avoid conflict. 2. Putting a foot wrong can lead to them lashing out in, often disproportionate rage. 3. In conflict, they might be vicious and aggressive, or switch to play a victim role, placing all responsibility on others to fix the situation for them. These are just some of the signs that might sound familiar. In all of these scenarios it is easy to get drawn into their patterns. But there *is* a way to step back without losing your compassion or your relationship. Follow the steps above and see if you can make this relationship more stable and peaceful. Remember, you are not trying to change them. That is not your job and sets you up with an unachievable task. đThere is a whole chapter called âWhen itâs difficult to be with othersâ in my new book âOpen When...â It was an instant No.1 Sunday Times Bestseller and New York Times bestseller. Available for limited time with up to -48% discount. Also check out my million copy bestselling 1st book âWhy Has Nobody Told Me This Before?â Both are available in across the world in over 35 languages in audio and ebook. Both links in my bio. If you brought a copy of either thank you for the support đ
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¡7-8đĽ The last is the key! đ Ever felt like your reality was being twisted? Most likely, we have all felt that on occasion. Gaslighting in relationships is more common than you think. But once in a while does not have quite the same corrosive impact of the repeated cycle can alter the entire dynamic of a relationship over time. If this is happening to you persistently and you notice that you no longer trust in your own judgment, start writing things down. Keeping a journal of these interactions can help you begin to spot patterns in the relationship. Trusted friends or a therapist can be a lifeline of support that offers an outside perspective and the encouragement to find a way through. đ If you like my work youâre love my million copy bestseller, âWhy Has Nobody Told Me This Before?â And my New Sunday Times & New York Times bestseller, âOpen WhenâŚâ please see the link in my bio where you can order both x
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¡7-3#stitch with @The Open University ad. @TheOpenUniversity #OpenUniversity #Degree #Education #CareerGoals #OnlineLearning #fyp #StitchThis
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¡7-1đĽThis hits hard đHow do you feel when someone in your life says one thing but does another? Sometimes it can cause us to doubt ourselves because we want so much to believe in the words they say. But when there is a disconnect between words and actions I tend to believe that the behaviour carries more weight. Despite this I do believe that we should always assume positive intent and not rush to judge someoneâs actions as malicious until we know more. As soon as we interpret a situation in that way, we are already disconnected and less likely to be able to approach them in a way that will help us fully understand intent. Iâd love to hear what you guys think on this one, from your own experience. đ For more on this check out my new book âOpen When...â It was an instant No.1 Sunday Times and New York Times bestseller. Available for -48% discount see link in bio. Also check out my million copy bestselling 1st book âWhy Has Nobody Told Me This Before?â Up to 60% off right now. Both are available across the world in over 40 languages. If you donât want to read it and would like me to read it to you, itâs free when you sign up to Audible. Both links in my bio. If you brought a copy of either of my books thank you for the support đ
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¡5-10đ Have you spotted any of these? You might want to keep this saved to refer back to. Sometimes the signs that are easier to notice are those that appear in our own reactions. For example, being around someone who is emotionally immature can feel exhausting. There is a sense of always having to walk on eggshells to accommodate their tendency to perceive almost anything as criticism and the intense reaction that follows. That highly defensive reflex might be volatile, but it can also be more passive aggressive. So, every now and then you notice you are being ignored and the guessing games begin as you try to work out what you have done wrong. When you love someone who is emotionally immature, it is natural to yo-yo between working hard to gain their approval and occasionally rejecting them out of frustration. But rather than going round in circles with them, breaking that cycle comes from making the radical decision to stop seeking validation and approval from someone who is not emotionally mature enough to give it. đFor more insights on when itâs difficult to be with others, check out my new book âOpen When...â It was an instant No.1 Sunday Times Bestseller. Available for limited time with up to -48% discount. Also check out my million copy bestselling 1st book âWhy Has Nobody Told Me This Before?â Up to 60% off right now. Both are available in across the world in over 35 languages in audio and ebook. Both links in my bio. If you brought a copy of either thank you for the support đ.
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¡4-30#ad How do you get it to stop spinning? Hereâs a few things you can do to help still the mind so that you can get a full night of sleep: 1. Keep a worry list, a pen and paper by your bed. When you catch yourself worrying about something at night, write it down. That list becomes a promise to yourself that you will make time to tackle those worries productively tomorrow, in the light of day. This way, you donât feel that you have to hold them in mind to remember what you need to do. 2. Keep bringing the focus of your attention back to the present moment. Worry thoughts are all based in the future that isnât here yet and ruminations are all about the past. To still the mind, we need to notice when the mind has drifted to the past or future and gently guide our attention back to the here and now. This is not easy to do when you have things to worry about. And letâs face it, who can even remember to meditate at the end of the day? You might not realise this but if you have a Samsung device you have access to Mindfulness tracker which helps make setting health habits simple. This will remind you when to meditate, check your mood and offer recommendations for guided meditations. 3. Breath work is another effective way to bring the body to a state of calm after a stressful day. But this is another practise that benefits from guidance to help you time each breath. Breathing exercises are also available on the Mindfulness feature on your Samsung Galaxy phone, so definitely check it out - itâs yours for free! #SamsungPartner #SamsungHealth
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¡4-24đ Canât believe how close that was!âď¸ More on this subject below. But if you find my videos helpful, you will love âOpen WhenâŚâ my No.1 Sunday Times and New York Times Bestseller book available through the link in my bio. Itâs 48% off @ÂŁ10.50 inc delivery on Amazon for a very limited time. High sensitivity: The recognition that some people experience more sensitivity than others is based on the research by psychotherapist Elaine Aaron. But it is crucial to point out that this is not a clinical diagnosis. It is not a disorder that needs changing. You are not flawed in any way. But itâs common for highly sensitive individuals to feel that way, because people vary greatly in how much their nervous system is aroused in the same situation. Sensitivity can have a positive impact on your life as well as negative. Hereâs a few examples below: You are likely to be highly conscientious and able to concentrate deeply. You might be especially good at tasks that demand accuracy and speed and detection of error. You are more likely to be able to process material at a much deeper level. You might benefit from an ability to reflect on your own thinking and experience and developing self-awareness. đĽ - For more there is a seven minute video on my YouTube channel that I made a few years ago. âOpen When...â is finally out (link in bio) Also check out my million copy bestselling 1st book âWhy Has Nobody Told Me This Before?â Both are available across the world in over 35 languages.
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¡4-21đ The second one on the list is the most crucial for building your social confidence. Hereâs why: If feeling the discomfort of awkward moments is something you are not willing to accept and tolerate, then all of the choices you make will be dictated by the need to avoid those feelings. As a result, all the actions that would build social confidence (like spending as much time with people as possible) become out of bounds to you. And the more you avoid those uncomfortable but rewarding experiences, the more your social world shrinks and social anxiety grows. To begin to tackle that fear of socially awkward moments, you first need a clear way through those feelings. I talk you through how to do this in my new book, Open When. đ My new book âOpen When...â is finally out worldwide it is a Sunday times and New York Times bestseller (discount links in bio) Also check out my million copy bestselling 1st book âWhy Has Nobody Told Me This Before?â Both are available across the world in over 40 languages.
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¡3-30đ A video I never imagined I would make. I owe much thanks to many people who have been instrumental in this, but this little message is a thank you to everyone who has bought a copy of 'Open When..' and made a dream come true. For anyone who hasn't read it yet but wants to see what all the hype is about, the link in my bio will take you to retailers near you.
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¡3-25This blew my mind 𤯠The most amazing cake for the launch of my new No.1 Sunday Times bestselling book âOpen WhenâŚâ from @Dawn Butler - Dinkydoodle cakes.
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¡2-16đ Did you notice the change at the end? đ Itâs easy to miss it at first, because it is so gradual. But that is how change in emotion state tends to happen too. Itâs not the flip of a coin. Itâs a gradual shifting that takes time. The trouble with that is we become impatient when the feeling is uncomfortable or painful. We want it gone now. So, the temptation is to do whatever numbs it fast. Every time we do that, we lose touch with the natural course that human emotion will take, when we allow it to be present. It increases in Itâs intensity, then slowly comes back down. đ âWhen itâs difficult to be with your feelingsâ is the title of a whole section of my new No.1 Sunday Times Bestseller, Open When. It breaks down into all the emotions we tend to struggle with, and I talk you through how to get through and out the otherside in the best way possible. The link in my bio has links to UK, USA and some international retailers. When I wrote this book I wanted it to be a gift to yourself through hard times, but also to the people you love, when you canât be there to see them through their own tough moments â¤ď¸
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¡2-5đThis is madness! 𤯠I cannot buy them at this price. Two books in the Sunday Times top ten means âOpen WhenâŚâ is now ÂŁ10.50 inc delivery and âWhy Has Nobody Told Me This Before?â Is just ÂŁ8 inc delivery this is UK but also discounted in US and internationally. Tap on the link in my bio. If you want to support me by buying my book it wonât get any lower as the RRP is ÂŁ20 in UK. A huge thank you to everyone for your support. Every review, post and story share by this community has helped to get the word out and put these books into the hands of people who might need them.
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¡1-19đDonât make this mistake đ¸ We tend to adjust and tolerate harmful changes if they are gradual and subtle enough. Where in your life have you put up with gradual deterioration until itâs too late? More belowđ đMy new book âOpen When...â is finally available to order worldwide (link in bio) đĽThe use of the blow torch in this video might seem a bit shocking. But it is there to represent how harshly the heat can be turned up once we are trapped in a situation by our tendency to adjust rather than address problems. We might become broken down or weakened by the ever increasing toxicity of a situation. So, whether itâs a workplace, a relationship, a personal situation or a wider problem of town or country, the boiling frog metaphor speaks volumes about the potential consequences of not addressing small changes until itâs too late. Note: The boiling frog metaphor came from an experiment that was done over 150 years ago. The original theory has since been contested by modern biologists. But the value in the fable remains. No frogs were harmed in this video đ¸ Feel free to share this message â¤ď¸ If you enjoy my videos youâll love my new book âOpen When...â is finally out now worldwide (link in bio) Also check out my million copy bestselling 1st book âWhy Has Nobody Told Me This Before?â Both are available across the world in over 35 languages.
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¡1-7đThe last one can be hard to spot đMore on the subtle signs that a friendship has gone sour â¤ľď¸ â˘ When you share bad news, your bid for connection and support is squashed by something apparently much worse that happened to them once. ⢠Sharing good news or something positive that is happening for you feels unwelcome too. You might be met with sarcasm, or praise the comes laced with insult. Or you might notice that you are being subtly excluded in ways that you werenât when things werenât going so well for you. đŤ Much more on how to spot signs that a friend might not be a friend and how to deal with it in my new book, Open When. đ My new book âOpen When...â is finally out! (link in bio) Also check out my million copy bestselling 1st book âWhy Has Nobody Told Me This Before?â Both are available across the world in over 35 languages.
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¡1-3đ The biggest mistake that most people make with new year resolutions and lifestyle changes is starting with a big change that canât be sustained among all the demands of normal life. Aiming for temporary change is not a bad thing. We do this all the time when we take time out to rest or go on a holiday. But when we want to put in a change that will stick, we canât treat it in the same way that we treat a short term change. We must work out how this new goal is going to fit into everything else that we prioritise. Without doing that, the new changes inevitably become too disruptive to all the other things we care about and we inevitably abandon the new goals altogether. More to come on how to sustain new changes in the next couple of weeks, but for details on how to deal with fluctuations in willpower now, I have a section on this in my new book, Open When. Click the link in my bio to get yours now. Available at all book stores and supermarkets. âď¸ Amazon has just reduced the price by 24%. âď¸ Signed copies available from the Waterstones link. âď¸ Barnes and Noble đŻ US Special edition now at Target Links are in my bio x
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